Betrayal

Betrayal, it's a term most anyone is all to familiar with. From your childhood friend replacing you and telling all your secrets, to your business partner betraying you in business, family members turning on you, to your partner, lover, spouse betraying you.

Betrayal in any form from any significant person in your life is devastating. Some betrayal's may cut deeper than others. Some may be a little easier to get over or recover from than others; but the one consistency is that betrayal from a trusted source can leave you feeling worthless for having trusted such an untrustworthy person.

Let's delve a little deeper into the betrayal from a narcissist. I've dealt with many kinds of betrayal throughout life, but the one certainty I can share with you from my perspective is that narcissistic betrayal cuts a little deeper than the rest. For the uneducated in narcissistic betrayal (and I'm glad that you are) you may question just how can this type of betrayal be any worse than the rest?

Betrayal between to "normal" people has two main ingredients; sneaky and backstabbing. The sting is there, the pain is there, and the recovery time can linger as you process what you went through, but generally, it's not life altering, personality changing devastation to your life. Two normal people are usually able to talk about it, apologize or agree to disagree and move on. Narcissistic betrayal is not so easy to resolve and move on from.

Narcissists set out on a mission. They seek to gain your trust, your love and all knowledge about out. They mirror you at first. You settle into comfort with this relationship and slip them a piece of your soul. Their response to this; "AAAHHHH, food.....". Unbeknownst to you, you have just fed them in the deepest sense. They gain you and your trust in the most intimate, intricate way.

Then it comes. It comes in waves. It comes like a violent storm from the sea with those intermittent moments of calm and peace. Like the homes on the beach, you board up everything terrified of such a wretched storm, then with the peace, you take down all precautions only to be hit with another violent storm that you were totally unprepared for. Because of the intimacy you share with the narcissist, such behavior and betrayal has great potential for further damage.

Gaslighting. This behavior is called gaslighting. It's the purposeful psychological manipulation of a person. Yes, they did it to you. They did it with intent to destroy you. They did it with the intent to damage you. They left you despondent, drowning in hopeless abandonment, dwelling on the bleak circumstances of betrayal. Your're left swimming circles in your head trying to make sense of just what the hell is happening. Narcissists are swift in their actions. They swoop in fast and furious. This tactic works best. It is the best way to leave you in a state of confusion, so that you don't understand or figure out what is happening.

The narcissist mirrored you in the beginning. At some point during this process your compass becomes off kilter and you find yourself mirroring them to them. It's not who you are, but the trauma you have been enduring raises questions about who you are. How could you let this happen to yourself? Your sanity. Your judgment and everything about yourself. Your state of confusion is only compounded when the narcissist then refers to you as the "toxic one" how they are the one who was "betrayed". This type of betrayal foments anger and depression. These narcissistic betrayers made us suffer and intensely wronged us, now they have the audacity to claim "victim"?

Your innate humanness side comes to light and it's only natural to want to seek proper justice. To get even. To want them to suffer as bad as they purposely made you suffer. This too is a play from their playbook. From the beginning, they set out with a plan to destroy you and they receive fuel from setting everything into motion. They then watch as you light the match to the fuel that they poured. It gives validity to everyone they have secretly been bashing you too behind your back that you are crazy. You are toxic. You are a betrayer.

Just like the dog pictured, you are left despondent, laying in an unfathomable amount of anger, depression, hurt from such cavernous betrayal. Sometimes there are no words that you can even find to explain what you went through. The internal struggles that you now deal with seem like they could never end. There is reality of betrayal in life. Don't choose to remain in the cesspool that the narcissist created and tried to make you believe is your only reality. That's their reality. Leave them there

Find your path to peace. >>>>>>------------->

Until next time

kelvie jay